My Birthday WIthout Her...

Another year has been added unto me.

Today, I turned 23 years old. It's not loud around here. After all, it is 1:30am. My cat, Angel, is sitting at my feet, as I lay in bed typing this blog on my Mac. I look at that old cat, and think, "I got you when I was in the 5th grade. Now, look at me... 23 years older planning a wedding." I wonder if she'll let me take her with me and Drew.

Today will be an exciting day for me. It will also be a sad one.

Exciting... because I can celebrate another year. I'm truly blessed. I don't have cancer. I really don't have any physical ailment to my body. My mind is in good shape. I'm on the President's List at my college. I will graduate as a Cum Laude (Cumulative Average of A minus and above) with a Bachelors of Arts in English from Macon State College in less than 2 semesters. I am marrying the most beautiful person on the planet in less than 12 months. Both of my parents are lying in bed snuggled up in absolute love for each other. I have one grandmother left. My future-in-law's are the two coolest people I could ever hope of having as in-law's. I serve in a church that is very much alive and moving to bigger and better things. With the help of God, I'm able to lead a group of young people into a closer relationship with their Father. God has given me a personality that helps in making others laugh and see the lighter side of life. I have some of the best friends in the world. As a matter of fact, as soon as the clock struck 1 minute past midnight, I got a text from my best friend (Cole) wishing me happy birthday. It doesn't get much better than that. People love me.

Sad... because this is the first birthday that I won't be able to call Jessie Mae King to say, "Jessie, guess what?! I turned 23 today! Can you believe it?!" Folks, if you don't know her through my stories, she is a little, black lady who raised me. She kept me when my parents were working their tails to provide for us. She lived to be 100 years old. In raising me, she taught me everything there is to know about God. She was Jesus to me...as I was growing up. My ministry today carries its roots in Jessie Mae's wisdom that she instilled in me at a young age. I really miss her tonight. Tears stream down my face as I type this. I'm generally not a crying person, but God reminded me tonight of the impact this woman of God, Jessie Mae, had on my life.

Jessie Mae, this is for you:

[Taken from my journal]

*This was written the night of her passing.

"I miss you"

When I got the call after you took your last breath,
I didn't think it to be true, not you.
They said you went away in your sleep, no pain.
Well, was that true?
You were supposed to live forever and not go.
Remember when I used to say, "You'll never die..."

What was it like when you saw the face of God?
Not a day went by while here on Earth that you didn't thank Him for life.
What was it like to finally see the face of God?
You served Him so well. I bet you jumped in His arms.
You must be so happy, Jessie.

I miss you...
I miss you, my Jessie.
I miss you...
You were the love of my heart and still are...

Do you remember those stories you told
when you tucked me in at night?
I thought you ruled the world.
You called yourself a nurse, a private nurse.
You said, "God gave you healing hands."
And boy did He use those hands to heal many a people.

What was it like when you saw the face of God?
Not a day went by while here on Earth that you didn't thank Him for life.
What was it like to finally see the face of God?
You served Him so well. I bet you jumped in His arms.
You must be so happy, Jessie.

I miss you...
I miss you, my Jessie.
I miss you...
You were the love of my heart and still are...